Name Change Rant

This week has been a particularly troubling week. Since the semester started, I became aware of a mistake in my name in the University system. Apparently, because of how my name shows up on my Social Security card, my first last name was interpreted as a middle name and my second last name as my first name. In order to solve this, I went to the Social Security office and added a hyphen to my last names so that there wouldn't be any more confusions. Bad idea, it still rendered itself for confusions. So I had to go to the SS office and to other offices at the Univ again to undo what I did and drop my second last name from every legal document. What a mess and how troubling and confusing this has been for me. You can't imagine what its like to have to modify one's name, one that one's had forever and that represents oneself and one's culture and genealogical background just because some people, well, not just some people but a whole country, a whole dominant culture, doesn't understand it and doesn't even try to make the effort to. Widen the gap a bit more why don't you!! Its been troubling and confusing.

But thank God its over and hopefully everyone will understand my name and not ask me if I got married because, as I have just recently learned, that's the only possible reason for a woman to change her name. Viva la patriarchy!!! Like people at my department and a man (fat disgusting man with a thick southern accent -yuck!!!) over at the SS office today who overheard my conversation with the policeman/concierge of sorts and asked me "How many of you guys gettin' married nowdays?" To which I only answered "Its not that" because I couldn't think of anything else and because I didn't want to engage in any kind of conversation with this weird southern Americanus Nativus specimen. But I couldn't help but wonder what he meant by "you guys". Hispanics/latinas? Immigrants? Maybe he thought I was an immigrant and with all the illegal immigrant shit right now I wouldn't doubt this was the intended meaning of that phrase, which would have reinforced the image I had of him of a filthy Southern, Republican probably racist and chauvinist nasty pig. But could the phrase refer to women in general? I don't know but at that specific time I couldn't help but sink further in my hole and feel even worse. Shit. Maybe this all happened because its Monday and Mondays always suck.

But I'm fine now, fine with my "new name" and fine with my conviction that my name is really untouchable because it will be whatever I want it to be for the sole reason that I'm its bearer and that it will always be the way its always been because I so chose. Fuck those who obviate my second last name. Its still there for me and it will still always be there because I have a mother. Fuck patriarchy!!! Fuck legal documents, fuck the government and fuck all Americans who don't now how to read a foreign name.Y porque soy Española y la mala leche Española se hereda y, como la mancha del platano, nunca se va: A tomar por culo coño!!!!

Fin.